So the latest buzz on the black blogosphere is Chris Brown’s breakdown at the 2010 BET Awards about a week or so ago, and the question on everyone’s mind is: were his tears genuine? Now I recently got into a heated discussion on The Fresh XPress about this mainly because I’m surprised at the amount of people who say Chris Brown had a PR team planning that Michael Jackson tribute. Now for those who didn’t watch, I will link the video. Pause for reaction.
Now, readers, I know you can’t possibly believe that that emotional breakdown was staged. Whether or not he was mourning Michael Jackson (like you wouldn’t breakdown during ‘Man in the Mirror’, puh-leeze), or overly grateful at finally being able to do his MJ Tribute (he was banned last year, we all know why, I don’t need to recap), or if he himself could finally understand the power of the lyrics of that song and was redeeming himself in HIS eyes–none of this is our business. The fact of the matter is, Chris Brown has been apologetic for almost two years now, nor has he had a history of domestic violence in which he was the abuser prior to the Rihanna incident.
According to the official affidavit in fact, it seems she even instigated the physical altercation. Did she deserve to get her face beat in? No, of course not, no woman should get hit, but as a former domestic abuse victim myself, do I think she was stupid for not expecting something to happen to her if she kept pushing him to his breaking point? Yes. She isn’t a saint, and even though she was a victim of ONE incident of domestic violence, I hate that the media tries to paint her as this unblemished angel of purity and helplessness. The woman is West Indian. I don’t know a single West Indian woman that won’t stand up to a man, even if that man is 8 feet tall and built like an iron powerhouse. Coming from that mindset, Rihanna probably didn’t expect the physical altercation to go the way it did, and neither, I suspect, did Chris Brown himself. He was probably shocked after the initial adrenaline settled and the severity of the situation sank in, as he had worked so hard to distance himself from his own cycle of abuse from his childhood (why do you think his target demographic was teenaged girls? Helloooooo?).
This is likely why Rihanna forgave him quicker than we did. He lost control of himself, forgot who he was and what it would do to his image. And when he tried to apologize for it, the world turned its back on him…and I’m ashamed to say, so did I, but mostly because I didn’t bother thinking about the situation in full from both ends. All I saw was that photo of Rihanna’s face beaten to a pulp. Now, here’s my take on people who have never been in a domestic violence situation:
It isn’t always physical.
People immediately get the image of a frail woman, bruised and shivering, meek and weak when they think domestic violence. The image of her attacker is usually a beer-bellied, blue-collar scruffy man who came from a broken home. Most of the time the physical abuse is the least of the problems. It’s emotional and psychological as well. I know this for a fact, and it didn’t sink in until recently that my own experiences likely had a part to play in my swift and harsh judgment of Brown. Maybe Rihanna had been pushing him before this. Maybe she was running her mouth every time they got into an argument. Maybe he was gritting his teeth trying not to lose his temper. Maybe it was a push and pull relationship. Irrespective, the only people who know are Rihanna, Chris Brown, and God. It’s not our business to pry. Speculate, yes, but prying is for those who handle domestic disputes, not for a few self-proclaimed relationship experts who took one psychology course in college and suddenly they think they understand everyone’s mental processes.
Anyway, I digress. My point is, us judging Chris Brown is moot because whether or not he used the open wound of Michael Jackson’s tragic and untimely death as a platform to reassert himself in the entertainment industry has nothing to do with our opinion (I cried when he broke down during Man in the Mirror, it was that poignant). I wouldn’t say he is full-redeemed in the eyes of everyone, as Rihanna’s reaction to the entire ordeal with annoyance (this is what happens when you date fellow celebrities–once they become an ex, you’re going to see them every goddamn where), however, to his fans, he has long-since been overdue for forgiveness and in the world of entertainment, your fanbase is really all that matters as they are your bread and butter and moral support. Take Eminem for example, his latest single is weak in comparison to his entire body of work thus far, but it topped the charts nonetheless…why? Because he established a solid fanbase and demographic.
Some people fail to grasp that the entertainment business is just that: business. You need to establish a baseline of customers who support you no matter what. In any business that is the key to staying in business. Chris Brown doesn’t have a PR team that great…not after his blundering apologies last year, but he understands the nature of the hustle, and his fanbase had already been solidly established. This is why he reemergence into the public eye via Twitter and finally back to the stage is unsurprising to me. I forgive Chris Brown, even though I wasn’t a fan of anything but his Doublemint commercials. People are reaching for a reason to keep him ostracized from society in my opinion. Chris Brown is only being publicized for his domestic abuse incident because of his celebrity status. There are regular people who abuse their partners in far worse ways and are likely not being reported for it. Put things into perspective. You’re ostracizing Chris Brown for one case of domestic abuse, while crucifying people who want to keep Lil’ Wayne in jail. Priorities, people.
So go ahead, Chris Brown. You managed to scoop up your entire fanbase in one fell swoop. Let’s hope you can scrub away this black mark on your record and reestablish yourself as someone who doesn’t need to beg for followers on Twitter or be an asshole about your situation. It gets worse before it gets better.
